all about Ben at 3 and a half and 3 and three quarters

All about Ben at 3 and a half and 3 and three quarters:

(...a combined entry because this big move to Germany has gotten me so far behind I'm having anxiety attacks... get ready for some major blog catchups spanning a two month period!)

I just don't know what I ever did to deserve this sweet sweet precious son! I thank God for him, and all three of my guys for that matter, with every breath. I never really imagined myself as the mother of a boy, let alone two, but I know that He will continue to teach me the greatest lessons through raising these little men. And as the oldest, and therefore the default test case, Ben is leading the charge. And what a charge we find ourselves in as we enter the last few months before his fourth birthday! Here are some memories I don't want to forget...

1. Ben's latest obsession (that's some of the good Otis genes coming through - if we're going to do something we're certainly going to give it 100% :)) is coming up with worst case scenarios and then asking me what we would do if...

...bad guys were here/our house was on fire/a bear was chasing us...

Yikes! Why does it always have to be such scary scenarios? I just can't let them go with short answers either. First I have to try to discern where he got this question, some ridiculous show I shouldn't have let him watch, a conversation he was listening too close to that I shouldn't have had, or just life happening around him and he just has a gift for focusing on such things? (Actually, you'd be surprised how many of them come from what I thought would be harmless picture books, like "we're going on a bear hunt".) Then I have to come up with an answer that both reassures him that he doesn't have to be afraid of those things happening, while still satisfying his curiosity and teaching him important lessons just in case. No wonder I'm so tired at the end of the day :)

2. I'm so on to you little dude! You can't really remember why you are being corrected, but you hear every bit of your father's and my hushed conversation from the backseat of the car! Selective listening has arrived!

3. We're working on balancing the right to feel certain emotions while not subjecting those around you to our moods and still obeying no matter what we feel... like the grumpies because we're really still pretty tired in the afternoons even though we're a big boy who doesn't really nap anymore... and anger management when we get hurt but it's really no one's fault, sometimes it just seems like it would feel better if there were someone else to take the blame :)

4. From the Benjamin rule book: "leave him alone when he is hurt, ONLY mommy can make a fuss over him and everyone else must look away and pretend as if it never happened".

5. You must of snuck in some serious SERE (survival, evasion, resistance and escape) military training because you can turn any situation back to your needs, what we call getting "back to the box" in the Air Force... as in "I'm hungry, thirsty, tired or hurt".

6. Break my heart! Lots of precious little toddler peculiarities have completely faded as you want to make sure you have your shoes on the right feet (you'll ask me "is this the right foot mommy") and you use the right word order in your conversations now (no more "we got-for that mom" vs. "we forgot that mom").

7. You love back scratches at night when you're going to sleep! One of both mine and daddy's favorite memories of bed time with our mommies when we were little!

8. Lots of serious "circle of life questions", keeping me on my game. Time to pull the "Questions Children ask about God, Jesus and Heaven" back out. All thanks to an honest Grandpa and some circling vultures back in North Carolina and furthered by lots and lots of animal pelts in Germany.

9. You're such a big brave little boy, who doesn't like the dark :) Me too little man!

10. You easily maneuver big silverware and regular potty seats!

11. Another big jump in pretend play as you'll easily entertain yourself now by doing both sets of voices and can manage the good and bad guys all at once.

12. I love the real definition of discipline, which is "to train". And our current training is focused on obeying immediately and joyfully (thank you Duggers :) a surprisingly good book, minus all the business stuff I didn't really care for).

13. You love to cock your head to the side, give me a perfectly precious pout (again thanks to Grandpa) and tell me in the sweetest voice, "but you're not playing with me mommy". You'll do it even if I've been playing with you all morning and just took a quick break to meet our basic needs.

14. I love it when people even elude to the fact that they think you are spoiled... GOOD! With love anyway... mama can still BRING IT in the discipline department if need be. Firm, yes. Loving, absolutely!

15. You just love love love your mama! People often forget this awesome fact about little boys when they question if a mom wishes she had girls. I would love a little girl, absolutely, but there's nothing like the love of a son for his mama! You are so unbelievably caring and protective and defensive and sweet to your mama!

16. You have been so amazing with this whole big moving to a new home, village, country thing! What an amazing transition you've made to our new life over here. You are a real superstar! So positive about and patient with the process. Such a good boy!

17. We're teaching you German as you'll be living in Germany for a few years and are attending German kindergarten... and you're doing great with it. Adding new phrases every day. But the cutest is that you want to teach us too! Sometimes valid things you've learned, and other times just some silly word you think sounds German and should mean something important... because you want to be able to teach us too!

18. You are so dear with your baby brother. So quick to love on him and entertain him and comfort him. He lights up when he sees you, it's pure unabated joy! And aside from the one time we caught you trying out CPR on Liam, after seeing it during a safety demonstration, you are very gentle and careful! Oh be still my heart!!! (So funny to me that my dear friend Holly used this phrase to describe her unabashed love for her sweet little girl and I'm using it to describe the way my little boy's crazy attempts can scare the breath right out of me :)) The things you have to debrief a very observant and smart 3 year old, it will keep me on my toes for sure.

19. You are so dear with any new kids you meet, so much braver then your father and I were at your age. And you keep trying, even with all the language barriers and despite the occasional not-so-nice brush off. You are really learning to work things out, conflict and such, breaks my heart but I'm so proud of you too. You don't take things lying down, no sirree! And if they were to scrap with you I think they'd be surprised, you are one tough little dude! But I love that your first response is to diffuse the situation and let the offending party know it's not OK! This is just the beginning, I know, of wanting to protect you from it all and fight all your battles for you. So I'll just be spending more time on my knees, giving you extra hugs, and talking, guiding and loving you through it all. Thank goodness you're not one to let someone mistreat you with out standing up for yourself. (But let me tell you something Mr. Too Big For Your Britches Fabio... I know you think you're the big kid on the block being 6 and "the man" on the playground... just wait until you hit 1st grade next year and all those 7, 8, and 9 yr olds call you on your own game! 100 great experiences and the mama bear will remember the 1 rough one best of all. I'm watching you mister!) OK, I feel better now.

20. Even when trying to reason away your behaviour is not the proper response, your reasoning is just so precious and honest! "Mommy, the reason I growled and threw that is because you think I'm done but I'm not done playing because I want to make the good guy win still and I'm not ready for my bath yet!"

21. I love that you still want me to hold you sometimes and lie down with you sometimes and that you'll tell me all your secrets.

22. You're big into bike riding (amazing on your balance bike and asking me to take off your training wheels-but I'm not ready!), being a knight/fireman/pilot, playing Fussball (you already have some incredible soccer moves and it's truly becoming and addiction). You still love learning time with mommy. And you're already eating us out of house and home... what am I going to do when you're a teenager!

Can't wait to hit the big 4 yr mark!

Love love love you little man!