"The Look"

We went out to eat at a nice restaurant for lunch and of course I had the boys with me. They were actually very well behaved. I was proud of us and feeling pretty good about the whole event, until I got "the look". The one that says "I can't believe she's actually here at this restaurant ruining my lunch with her crazy kids. Why doesn't she stick to McDonald's."

I was annoyed for a little while until I started to see things more from the looker's perspective. Once I did I saw that it wasn't really disgust she was projecting towards me but more like fear...

You see she was in her late twenties and was having lunch, in her cute summer dress, sandals housing perfectly pedicured toes and tailored jacket with her equally dapper fiance. They looked highly educated, successful in their current work - whatever that might be - and in love. But no matter what delicious entree was on her plate or intriguing conversation he tried to engage her in... she couldn't peel her beady eyes off of us. I caught her looking a few times and instead of the awkward -I'm sorry you caught me staring at you - smile that I give people when I'm caught... she just looked away quickly every time.

So I tried to see it from her - I haven't had children of my own - perspective.... and I can see how we might have looked like a little more of a spectacle then I originally thought. And if she envisioned herself having children one day I'm speculating that she may have had a few of these thoughts going through her head... (I admit I used to have a few of these myself back before...):
1. Yikes, that looks like a lot more work then I want to do.
2. I'll obviously have much quieter and less needy children.
3. I can do it better.
4. Two words lady... BABY SITTER!
5. Why doesn't she... use bottles/discipline more/discipline less/comb her hair...!

I still think we did a really good job, and I'm working on my "mommy look" :)... but in all fairness, here's what she saw or heard:

stop pulling my hair Liam
Liam, let go sweetheart
put the nursing cover down
those are nice kisses but you need to let the baby breathe
just give him one quick kiss then pull your head back
that's too much honey
that's enough Ben
stop smothering THE BABY
I'll ask the waitress for ketchup when she gets back
I don't know where she is
do you remember what the word patience means?
just wait honey
it doesn't help to keep asking for it, it won't make her come sooner
stop asking for ketchup
you have your own water
my water is the same as your water
yes we're supposed to share but it's not polite to pick up other people's drinks
no I don't want any of your water
you need to say excuse me
one minute please
when mommy puts her hand on your leg it means that I heard you but I'm still talking and I want you to wait a minute
good job, now what would you like to say
yes you can play with your brother
be gentle
yes he likes it when you hug him but you have to do it gently
stop squeezing THE BABY
sit down and show me how you do your tracing book
mommy's still eating
he's probably crying because he's still hungry
no thank you I don't need help
Liam, let go of mommy's hair
Liam, let go of the NURSING COVER!

So I guess the look might have been a little more justified then I originally thought :)
I still think we did a pretty good job. It's hard to judge when you're not in the thick of it... taking care of a 3yr old and a 4 mo old. We didn't spill anything, we didn't cry or shout or bump into anyone. We pretty much stayed in our seats and we ate our food. We only had 2 potty trips and one minor bloody nose incident that was handled very calmly by all.

Fun times! I'll remember this day when my boys are older and our quiet, pleasant lunch is taking place next to a mother with her young broad. And I'll try really hard to make sure any looks I might give convey a "I've been there honey, keep up the good work"!